A Thanksgiving Letter to Vegans

Hi friend,

Most people don’t think too hard about how weird Thanksgiving is (just like, as a holiday in general…genocide and green bean casserole???), and they can be equally insensitive to those of us that choose not to partake in the corpse display on the table. This will be my 14th Thanksgiving as a vegan, and for me, it has gotten easier. Maybe it’s the company I keep these days, or maybe it’s my outlook; but it’s probably a little of both. In the past, I’ve had to excuse myself from the holiday table because the comments just got to be too much. I would have a quiet cry in the bathroom wondering how the people back at the table could be casually cutting into the dead bodies of animals with one hand, while literally petting their pet dog with the other hand. But, I used to be one of those people…so actually, I know exactly how people can do that.

Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Pie, from The Cajun Vegan Cookbook

The most abrasive vegan-haters are typically the same people who need the biggest hugs. When you’re hurting, or don’t have your basic needs met, or feel alone in the world, or [insert any human problem here], you might not be able to conjure much empathy for food animals. Until a person learns how to heal themselves and be more present in the world, they can’t be expected to understand veganism. They see you advocating for animals, but who is advocating for their pain? Often, no one. Their pain is usually hidden, tucked away, even from themselves. So, I try to keep my vegan clapback comedy to myself and instead focus on ways that I can connect with that person. You attract more flies with honey rather than vinegar, right? And it makes me laugh to visualize my Uncle John as a human-sized fly.

My top 5 tips for surviving Thanksgiving as a vegan:

  1. Don’t go! Boycott that nonsense. You’re probably already the black sheep anyway, I’m guessing. Do something you love instead, and then go visit your favorite family members the next day (which just happens to be “Native American Heritage Day”).

  2. Offer to host your family at your place for a vegan Thanksgiving! Just make sure you tell everyone ahead of time that your home is a meat, dairy, and egg-free zone to avoid awkward surprises at the door. If they want to contribute, help them find fun vegan recipes to try!

  3. If you have at least 1 vegan friend, start your own vegan Friendsgiving tradition. If you have no vegan friends, hold tight! You’ll meet some soon! Our numbers are growing.

  4. Tell everyone that you’ll be showing up to Thanksgiving festivities late (i.e., after the meal). Everybody will be all full and tired and gross, and you’ll be feeling awesome because you just had a lovely, healthy vegan meal. Then you don’t have to stare at the dead animals on the table, but you’ll still get to see your family!

  5. If you feel that you must be present for your family’s traditional Thanksgiving meal, make sure that there will be enough for you to eat. Sitting at the table eating bread rolls and dry lettuce while your family converses about the “delicious meats” is gag-worthy. Don’t do that to yourself. Prepare ahead by bringing your own meal, if necessary.

“Almost Dessert” Twice-Baked Sweet Potatoes (from The Cajun Vegan Cookbook)

So, what happens when conflict arises? Engaging in a yelling match with Uncle John because he won’t stop pestering you about eating turkey is one way to go…or you could get curious. You probably won’t feel good about yourself later if you stoop to his level. Calmly ask him why he wants you to eat the turkey when you already told him that you don’t want to, and use it as an opportunity to engage. If he’s a reasonable human, you may actually come to an understanding, or at minimum, you might plant a seed.

This doesn’t always go well, I must admit. For some of you, civil conversation will not be an option. But if you can see that others’ actions really have nothing to do with you…you can hopefully find a way to exist peacefully in their presence because you feel compassion for them. Or, try tip #1 next year.

No matter what you choose to do, I hope you’re able to enjoy it. Here are some free pie recipes from my cookbook to help lift your spirits:

Brown Sugar Sweet Potato Pie

Maple Molasses Pecan Pie

Pie Crusts (GF & Traditional Versions)

Maple Molasses Pecan Pie, from The Cajun Vegan Cookbook